


Better than him

by boleyn13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anger, Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Peter Parker, Secret Crush, That image of Cap in the Spider-Man Homecoming trailer made me so angry, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 14:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10492590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: Peter had been physically beaten before. He had fallen off rooftops, he had been punched. This was a new kind of pain, something he hadn’t known before and it was so much worse. Inside of him and it had to do with Mr. Stark. That he wouldn’t listen, that he wouldn’t let Peter protect him.Team Cap gets pardoned and Peter can't take it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody,
> 
> I just saw the new Spider-Man trailer and inspiration came over me, because just a single frame of Cap is one frame to many. Peter thinks so too ;)
> 
> Have fun :)

“I couldn’t believe it when the school called me. I was sure they must have got the wrong number. Peter doesn’t do that kind of thing, I told them. I was almost tempted to tell your teacher to do her job right and stop mixing up her students… I hope you realise how humiliating this whole ordeal was for me… and for you.”

Disappointing Aunt May was an entirely new experience. Sure, she had been angry at him before, but never like this. To be fair, Peter had never had trouble at school before and he definitely hadn’t told a teacher that he wouldn’t stick around to listen to this… crap. Damn, Peter really wished that he had said crap and not… something else.

“We don’t use that kind of language, Peter. Especially not in front of a teacher… or any other person.” She looked more sad than furious and Peter knew that he would feel bad. In an hour or two, now he was still trembling, vibrating with adrenaline. Way too excited to let May’s disappointment get to him. None of this was good.

“Can we just drive home and you ground me for a month? Please?”

Aunt May shook her head, not making the slightest attempt to start the engine. “I’ve never thought that I’d be in this situation, Peter. You are a bright, smart boy. You know what’s appropriate and what’s not. You don’t make trouble to make yourself feel important. Tell me what happened. I know that something must be wrong. You don’t lose control like that.”

Peter huffed, his hand was twitching. Yes, he knew Aunt May only wanted the best for him and he knew that his teacher wasn’t at fault, not really. Yet he wanted to rip something apart. “I am 15… puberty… rebellious phase…”

“If you don’t talk to me, then I have to think that you were well aware of what you were doing. Peter, I demand an explanation. As long as you don’t start talking to me, we’re not going home.”

That would have almost made him laugh. Peter didn’t need a car or a driver to get home. He could just get out of this car, crawl up the next building, jump from roof to roof and he would be home long before Aunt May. Peter could have smashed that TV, turn it into tiny little pieces. Like he had originally wanted to.

“Peter?”

More worry than disappointment. She was merely trying to look out for him and Peter took a long breath, trying to shake off the rage which was gripping him so tightly. Sitting in the back of his neck, refusing to let go and most of the time Peter was willing to embrace it. It was there for a reason. Everybody should be as angry as him. Why weren’t they? Peter couldn’t understand.

“I didn’t want to watch the video. I thought it was stupid. I told Miss Meyers that.”

“It’s not your choice what you watch in class, Peter.”

“I know that!” Peter snapped, twisting the straps of his backpack between his fingers. He could already feel the fabric tearing. “But I wasn’t going to sit there and hear Rogers lecture me on what it means to be an upright American citizen! Why would they even still show that! He’s nothing but a fu-“

“Peter!” Aunt May looked downright horrified, staring at him. Not because of the word he had been about to use, again, but because of his unknown anger and the fact that he had torn apart the strap.

She was right. Peter couldn’t lose his composure like this. May had done nothing wrong and he would end up scaring her. It was better to remain quiet and swallow the bile that was already threatening to make him vomit. “I’m sorry… I know I was out of line, but…” Arguing wouldn’t help, Peter wasn’t able to explain himself although he was right. A devastating feeling and to be honest, he wasn’t really sorry… No, he was… sorry that he hadn’t punched a hole in the TV. “I didn’t want a video of a criminal lecturing me… Nobody else was saying anything, so I… I spoke up, but I didn’t do it the appropriate way. I got suspended. I am sorry that they had to call you. It won’t happen again, I promise…”

The sad look on Aunt May’s face wasn’t fading away, but eventually she nodded and started the engine. Peter slumped back in his seat, closing his eyes. His heart was still hammering against his chest and there was only one person he wanted to talk to.

 ***

“Grounded? Are you serious? What did you do? Spend too much time out and about with your girlfriend?”

There was laughter in Mr. Stark’s voice and Peter felt a warm feeing spreading across his stomach, because he was responsible for it. The reason might be stupid and had ended him up with a lot of trouble, but now it was even more worth it.

“No, I… I told my teacher that I wasn’t going to watch the bullshit video she was showing us and… yeah.”

“Wow, are you auditioning for the breakfast club? Never mind, you are too young to get that reference. What was she showing you? One of these old sex ed videos from the 50ies?”

If only…

“Doesn’t matter. I’m suspended for three days and grounded for another month. So I can’t come to try out the suit next week. I’m sorry, Mr. Stark.” Maybe it wasn’t worth it after all.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Gives me more time to work on it. You’re doing alright? I know I’m no expert, because I’m over 40 years old and I’m still telling people to leave me alone with their stupid, uninteresting bullshit, but you don’t seem to be the type to do that. Everything’s okay?”

Peter pressed the phone against his ear, his heart hammering against his chest for another reason now. So stupid. Every single word was precious and Peter wished that Mr. Stark would keep talking, it helped him to calm down. The silence forced Peter to listen to his thoughts and memories, inviting the rage to stay so much longer.

“I’m fine… I just got upset. It’s nothing. I’ll see you in a month? To test out the suit?”

“Count on it Spiderling.”

The feeling of content and warmth lasted about a minute after Peter had hung up.

 ***

A lot could happen in a single month. The whole world could change. Or a fucking moron of a president could hand out pardons like candy.

Peter had learned his lesson. Instead of yelling at the TV he bit his lip so hard that he tasted blood and Aunt May had to ask him what had happened. He had no explanation, but that was easier to accept than a destroyed living room.

Mr. Stark didn’t answer his phone when Peter called him and that was enough for panic to join the rage.

After locking his room from the inside Peter got into the old suit and left through the video. He was going as fast as he could, but the way seemed endless none the less. Peter’s thoughts were bad company, forcing him to image every atrocity possible that might be happening right now, because he was taking too long.

He was fairly sure that he set off the compound’s alarm system, but Peter didn’t care when he entered the facility. “Mr. Stark?!”

The first person he ran into was the person he wanted to see the least. Or Peter had hoped to find him. Alone.

“Who are you?” Rogers was looking at him, distrustful, critical and it was so much worse than seeing his face on television, talking about American values and principles. Peter was about to lash out when…

“Peter!”

“Mr. Stark, are you okay?”

“What? Sure, what are you doing here?”

“Tony, who is this?”

“Me!? What is he doing here?!” Peter was screaming and Mr. Stark quickly grabbed his arm, pulling along into another room, closing the door behind him.

“Young man, you have two very serious problems. First, you caused a master alarm and put Friday in a frenzy, thank you very much. Second, you don’t watch the news, do you?”

Peter yanked his arm free from Mr. Stark’s grip, because he shouldn’t be touching him. Not when Peter’s heart was racing for all the wrong reasons and when his hands were begging to hit something. “I saw the news! How could they do that!? Let them back in after… Why is he here? This is your house! He shouldn’t be here!”

Suddenly Mr. Stark looked as sad as Aunt May and Peter couldn’t stand it. He hadn’t been aware how much it could hurt when a person that you wanted to smile was depressed.

“Steve is still an Avenger… or he is again. I don’t know, that’s all pretty confusing. He’s back and that’s for the best. This whole Civil War disaster tore us apart, but we need to be united. Otherwise we can’t help anyone and nobody wins.”

No. This was so wrong. Peter wasn’t smart enough to exactly explain why, to choose the right words, but this was wrong. “What? You don’t need him! Nobody needs him! He went against the UN and…”

“To save his best friend. A lot of people think that’s noble. Stand up against the entire world to save a loved one.”

“That’s… that’s a stupid lyric from a stupid One Direction Song. That’s not real life! He hurt you!”

Mr. Stark shifted slightly, avoiding to look at Peter even though he wore his mask. Which meant that Peter was right. “It’s not just about me, Peter. It’s bigger than that. I saw what’s coming. We need Cap and the others…”

Peter had been physically beaten before. He had fallen off rooftops, he had been punched. This was a new kind of pain, something he hadn’t known before and it was so much worse. Inside of him and it had to do with Mr. Stark. That he wouldn’t listen, that he wouldn’t let Peter protect him.

“You want him here? After everything…”

“It’s complicated. I don’t expect you to understand, but… Steve and I are willing to try to work this out.”

Most probably he didn’t mean it that way, but Peter had to think of Mr. Stark’s hand on his arm a moment ago and then that he would break Rogers’ arm if only one of his fingers would touch Mr. Stark’s skin. To please him or to hurt him, to Peter it was all the same.

“You were right about him. He is dangerous. Why are you now…”

“The Avengers divided is even more dangerous than that.”

Peter was speechless and he could feel tears forming in his eyes, sent by the rage that was now spreading across his entire body. Rogers wasn’t even going to be punished, so what should stop him from doing it again? Was Peter supposed to stand by and watch how everything went wrong?

A knock on the door. “Tony? You’re okay?”

How could he even dare? “Fuck off, you bastard!”

“Peter!” Suddenly Mr. Stark’s hands were on his shoulders, Peter could feel his intense stare. Had he disappointed him again? Was Peter just not good enough? Or was this traitor already poisoning his thoughts? “You need to calm down. I know this is hard to understand, but we can’t continue fighting each other. There are more important things to do and I also need you for that.”

Mr. Stark needed him and Peter should be so happy right now.

“Tony?”

Shaking his head Peter turned around, running for the window, hot tears burning in his eyes.

 ***

A month ago Peter hadn’t thought it possible that he would ever ignore a phone call from Mr. Stark. Now he had ignored five. Every fibre of his being wanted to talk to him, hear his voice, but right now it wouldn’t help to calm Peter down.

Sitting on his bed Peter balled both of his hands into fists, his thoughts wandering to the exhibit in Washington DC that he had visited years ago. Before the incident. An exhibit about Captain America. This nation’s greatest hero.

There had been that machine… Test if your strength if it equals that of Captain America… Peter had been 12 years old. He had tried it as a joke, punched that hard punching bag only to find out that his strength of course didn’t match Captain America’s. Aunt May, Uncle Ben and him had laughed and he had forgotten all about it. Until now…

What would happen if Peter punched it now? Would their strength be equal? Would Peter’s be superior? What would happen if there was another fight? Now that Peter was stripped of this disgusting feeling of awe that he had previously felt… now that he could use his anger in a battle…

What would happen if he hit that bastard with all of his strength?

A voice in the back of his mind told him to just try and see and Peter wanted to.

For the wrong reasons though…

Mr. Stark had never shown anything but kindness. Invited Peter into his lab, offered advice and an ear to listen. All while trying to keep Peter from becoming a real Avenger. Too dangerous. Too young. Enjoy being a teenager.

One night while lying awake and yet dreaming of how Mr. Stark had put his hand soothingly on Peter’s back while showing him a better design for his web shooters, Peter had realised how fucked up this was. His father had died when Peter had been so young, he almost didn’t remember him. Uncle Ben had been murdered and perhaps Peter was just looking for a new father figure. In a very twisted and very wrong way.

It didn’t mater, because Peter knew exactly in which position he was. A kid, a protégé, somebody you pat on the shoulder and tell them “Good job”, nothing more. His nights and his thoughts still belonged to Peter. He could imagine whatever he wanted.

Peter calling Mr. Stark Tony

Tony doing more than just putting his arm around Peter’s shoulders

Peter hurting Rogers in every way possible for everything he had done to Tony

But then they would be exactly the same?

Releasing a shaky breath Peter unclenched his fists, staring at his hands. Yes, Peter had the power to tear down everything that stood in his way and maybe he would be even able to beat Rogers. Hit him for everything that he had done to Tony…

Mr. Stark…

Only that Peter wouldn’t do it for Mr. Stark, but for himself. Mr. Stark was willing to forgive or at least to try and Peter knew that was wrong, but it was Mr. Stark’s decision. Peter wanted to tear Rogers apart, because he had hurt Mr. Stark… and if Peter was honest, that revenge wasn’t to make Mr. Stark feel better but himself.

Then Peter would exactly be like Rogers.

No, Peter was better than him and Mr. Stark would see that too.

Peter was better and he could tell the rage inside of him to be silent. He could hold back, but that didn’t mean that he would forget.


End file.
